Too often we find ourselves neck-deep into our career only to realize that this is not the life we wanted to live.

 

Thankfully, you can change this.

 

What you need to do is find the right direction, have a mentor to guide you along the way, and put down the time and dedication to reach your goal.

 

Below you will find 3 practical steps that will translate the sentence above into actionable steps to live a more fulfilling and purpose-driven and fulfilling life:

• Step 1: Be Curious
• Step 2: Find a Mentor
• Step 3: Be Gritty

 

Let’s jump right in.

 

 

 

Step 1: Be Curious

 

First, you need to figure out what you want.

 

What we think we want and what we actually want can be different.

 

Often times what everybody aspires to become might not be the best fit for us.

 

So we need to go out and be willing to try new things.

 

The fear of jumping into the unknown can be overcome with strong curiosity.

 

With curiosity, you don’t need courage. The decision to move out of your comfort zone and explore will be driven by your desire to quench your curiosity.

 

So the first thing you need to do is be curious and get involved in as many activities where you can contribute and add value.

 

Note that I said you should follow your contribution. I did not say follow your passion.

 

This is because passion is fickle and often short-lived. Passion, similar to water on a hot summer morning, maybe there one moment, but disappear in the evening.

 

Your contribution, however, is lasting. When you contribute and add value to your surrounding, the impact you make is real. Your action touches and improves other people’s life.

 

Following your contribution will help you discover where you can make the biggest impact. This can then translate into a more accurate and lasting passion that drives you forward.

 

You can learn more about why you should follow your contribution over your passion, here.

 

Taking a stab at many areas you can add value by contributing may seem inefficient at first, but going through this trial and error process earlier will save you a lot of time down the road.

 

Be curious and take action following your contribution.

 

 

 

Step 2: Find a Mentor

 

Finding a mentor is like learning the cheat code to getting unlimited weapons and ammunition in Grand Theft Auto—you will have a unique edge and be miles ahead of your peers.

 

There are 2 types of mentors:

 

1. General Life Mentors: these are people who you look up to and admire. They can be old with gray beards or even be younger than you. What is important is that they live a life that you aspire to. Normally, general life mentors have been through all sorts of ups and downs in life. Therefore, whenever you are going through a complicated time in your own life—marriage decision, career change, moving to another country—you can rely on her advice for guidance.
2. Field Specific Mentors: these are mentors who are experts in the field you want to explore further. For example, if you are interested in writing on the internet for a living, somebody like David Perell could be your mentor. If, however, you want to be an entrepreneur in education technology, somebody like Jake, the founder of Mathpresso could be an excellent mentor.

 

Mentors, however, have millions of tasks and already tens if not hundreds of people just like you also want to learn from them.

 

If so, how can you then possibly build a meaningful relationship with them?

 

It is normally simpler than you think. All you have to do is build a light relationship with her on a social media channel she is active on, send a DM for a quick zoom call or coffee online, and talk. That easy.

 

I wrote a separate post on how to do build an incredible network in greater detail which you can check out, here.

 

Once you get the chance to meet your mentor, don’t let the moment slip. What you want out of the encounter is not only advice on your next step but to involve her in your life.

 

Make her interested in your thoughts and plans. Have her want to invest her time into your growth and future.

 

The quickest and easiest way to do so is by trying to add value to her life first.

 

This means that you should try and find how you can add value to your potential mentor while you are there with her.

 

She will be at first shocked to hear this coming from you. She will think: ‘What? This boy with no experience wanting to help me? A veteran?’

 

But that is ok. People who don’t have much usually want other’s help. They don’t usually reach out and try to be helpful.

 

Therefore, your decision to reach out to your potential mentor and be willing to give the little you have will immediately grab her attention and want her to know you better.

 

Always remember. Your life will be richer and more meaningful if you focus on giving value first.

 

 

 

Step 3: Be Gritty

 

Now that you know where your contribution makes the biggest impact, discover what you are passionate about and have a mentor to guide you, it is your mission to talk the talk and walk the walk.

 

This takes consistent effort, and more importantly, time. Rome was not built in a day.

 

An important note here is to make a clear distinction between willingness and grit. You always want to prioritize grit over willingness.

 

• Willingness is the desire to do something. It is the driving force that will help you overcome challenges. It is like the fuel that keeps you going. But just like fuel, it can be depleted. You can run out of willingness over time.

 

• Grit, however, is doing something regardless of the circumstance. It is like the ocean waves that power a generator to produce electricity. Waves crash against the shores of millions of beaches all over the world every second of our waking hour; however, waves do not run out. They move up and down because that is what they do. They just do it no questions asked.

 

Therefore, what should drive your action is not finite fuel-based willpower. It should be constant and unwavering like the ocean wave.

 

It is easy to do something when you are motivated and willing. But it feels like pushing a monstrous rock up a treacherous mountain when you don’t feel like doing it.

 

There are millions of reasons why you can’t get something done: no time, you feel tired and sleepy, you don’t feel like it, this Netflix series is too good, and so on and so forth.

 

But just as the ocean waves crash against the beach without a second thought, grit means putting your feelings aside and just getting done what needs to be done.

 

Grit is consistency. It is what separates a professional from an amateur.

 

Next time you feel like slacking off, think of the ocean wave. Forget for a while how you feel and think how the ocean waves break against the seashore time after time again. The wave does not think. It just does what it does.

 

Become like the wave and stop thinking.

 

Stop thinking about what feels right and wrong.

 

Just like the wave, get behind what you need to be doing.

 

That is grit, and grit will take you to your destination much faster and help you overcome mediocrity.

 

 

 

TLDR Summary

 

Today we explored the 3 steps to get what you want in the least amount of time.

 

First, be curious and try new things.

 

But don’t go after everything you feel passionate about.

 

Passion is a fickle monster and can bounce all over the place.

 

What you want to focus on is your contribution.

 

Find where you can contribute the most and add value.

 

You can know that you are contributing by seeing those you are helping. Ask yourself: “are the lives of people I am trying to help to improve as a result of my contribution?”

 

If the answer is ‘yes’, you are going down the right way.

 

Keep contributing in different ways until you discover an area you are passionate about.

 

Then double down your efforts and think of how to maximize your contribution in that area.

 

Second, find a mentor who can accelerate your growth and help you achieve what you want to achieve faster.

 

Mentors come in 2 shapes: general life mentors and sector-specific mentors.

 

General life mentors are people who live a life that you aspire to live yourself.

 

Sector-specific mentors are people who are experts in the field you are interested in.

 

To have these high-profile people interested in your life and growth, you must first provide value to their lives.

 

Once you secure time with them over zoom or for an offline coffee, confidently ask them: “is there anything I can do to help you?”

 

You will be surprised at the quality relationship you will be building as a result of this one question.

 

Third, be gritty.

 

Grit is the opposite of willingness.

 

Willingness, similar to ‘passion’ we described above, is capricious—you do not have control over when you feel like doing something.

 

Grit is like the never-ending wave that crashes against millions of shores all over the world.

 

Waves don’t think. Waves are not annoyed that they have to do what they do. They just do it because that’s what they do. That is my definition of grit.

 

If there is a clear goal and purpose that you’ve assigned yourself, don’t let feelings get in between you and where you have to go.

 

You don’t need to be motivated to move forward.

 

Become the wave and crash against the shore. You have what it takes. You always have and you always will.

 

 

That is it for this week! I hope you enjoyed reading this article as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comment section below. Also, if there is any topic you would be interested in reading, please let me know!